“I hate this”.  This is all I can think of as I struggle to keep up with my teammate, Jamie, as we climb Juanita hill.  Not only is he bigger than me, but he is also wearing a backpack and riding a heavier bike.  As my lungs heave, and my legs burn, he continues to pound away at the pedals, seeming to go faster with every stroke.  All I can think is “I hate this.”            

Faced with the choice of continuing to hang on, or dropping off, I decide to do what any self-respecting cyclist would do…. I pick up the pace.  Not right away, not by a huge amount, but just enough.   I pull up next to him and half wheel him, just a touch.  The pain and burning in my legs and lungs increases, but now the thoughts going through my head are different.  I am thinking, “If I’m going to suffer, I will choose how much. 

I will suffer because I want to, not because I am trying to keep up.  

“Fuck you Jamie.”           

We descend the hill and get to a fairly long flat section.  I decide that I am going to keep up the pace.  I won’t go as hard as I did on Juanita hill, but I am going to keep a good steady burn. 

As we roll along, Jamie does not pull up next to me, he stays tucked in the draft.  After a while we hit a stoplight.  Jamie pulls up next to me and says, “It is my civic duty to inform you that you were breaking the speed limit.” Jamie has all the gizmos: speedometer, power meter, nerd-o-meter, etc.  I don’t even have a watch. 

What was the difference between Juanita hill and my pull on the flats?  Was I just finally warmed up?  Was Jamie’s power meter broken?  Maybe.  But I think it would be na?ve to ignore the mental aspect of the play:  In one instance I was forced to suffer, in the next I chose to suffer.  In the latter I went faster with less perceived effort.

In times when bicycle manufacturers are demonstrating true brilliance in product innovation, and chemist and biologists are creating new nutritional supplements and dietary regimes, it is important to remember the mental game. 

I remember a quote by cycling great Gregg Lemonade.  The exact words escape me, but it went something like “When you are in a race and are feeling bad, move to the front of the pack.  And if you really feel like you are going to puke…. attack.” 

The lesson I take from my ride with Jamie is this:  Choose to suffer.  Embrace the pain. 

This is what makes one strong; this is what makes an athlete succeed.  What I think is most important is: the choice.  Don’t suffer because you have too, but because you choose too.  Lance Armstrong once said, “Every time I suffer,  I am a better man because of it.” 

Taking a proactive role in the face of pain and suffering is nothing new.  The great athletes have articulated it in their own way.  But others have touched on the same phenomena.  I think my favorite is the short quote by Winston Churchill with which I will end this thought.  I think it was in the midst of the Second World War when he said:  “When you are going through hell…. Keep going.”